How long does it take?
The other day a prospective client asked me “How long does it take for affirmations to work?” And I bit my tongue so that I wouldn’t discourage her by saying “Well, somewhere between a year and never.”
Don’t get me wrong. I’m sure affirmations have worked for some people, maybe even you. But I’ve never seen them work by themselves. Why not?
Because it takes more than just repeating positive statements to yourself to change your life.
Because if you have experienced any level of trauma — which could be as huge as childhood abuse or as common as a bad break-up — then affirmations can actually make you feel worse by bringing up your trauma then failing to work through it. Failing to acknowledge and process the emotions you have.
Think of how you may feel if you’ve experienced abuse and you keep repeating to yourself “I deserve and receive true love.” Your gut would scream “But that’s not what happened! That’s not true! I never get that! What’s wrong with me?”
Where you wish you were and where you really are
Affirmations on their own can just show you the stark contrast between where you wish you were and where you really are. They can leave you stranded on your same old desert island looking at all you dream of…off on the horizon somewhere out there.
When really, what you desire is inside you. Maybe it’s deep inside you, maybe you haven’t heard a peep from it in years and years, maybe you never even knew it was there at all. But it is there. What you desire is not off in the distance somewhere, hidden, with affirmations somehow paving the way to your dream. You just need some tools to discover that all you desire is already within you and you are already completely connected to all you need.
If you’ve already done the work — through therapy or mind/body healing techniques — then affirmations can work. I don’t know how long it will take. It’s an understandable but funny question, really. It’s like asking “How long will my life take?” Your whole life is part of your learning to embody the desires of your heart.
You have to be brave and curious
You have to dig down a little deeper than just repeating an affirmation to uncover why you keep repeating patterns you’re sick of, or why you feel the way you don’t want to feel. You can’t just paste words on top of trauma, look the other way, and hope everything changes. And you can dig deeper. You can face yourself and what keeps happening in your life. It’s not as horrible or as hard as you think. It’s easier than ignoring it and pretending everything is all right.
Let’s look with compassion, authenticity and joy!
If you want, I can help you look at your life, yourself, with compassion, authenticity, and joy. I’ll be your guide and your cheerleader. I’ll show you some easy energy tools — like tapping and ThetaHealing and guided meditation — to see and actually process and understand the events of your life, the emotions in your heart, the unrest in your mind. Then you’ll be able to do it all on your own.
How long will that take? My friend, it will take a lifetime and a moment. It’s already happening. Your search for what you desire is part of what you desire.
You’ve got this. And I’ve got you if and when you’re ready. Let’s not skim the surface and hope things go away. Let’s dive deep, take charge, transform.
THEN you can do your affirmations — if you even need them.