Here’s what actually helps.
A few months ago, I woke up at 4 am (not on purpose, I feel like I shouldn’t even need to add). And I immediately started to think of ways I should improve myself and my business.
And that is just a really great thing to be thinking about at 4 am, right?
Um, no.
I want to emphasize that I went straight from being dead asleep into self-improvement. I didn’t think “I have to pee” or “What time is it?” or “I’m tired” or “What was I just dreaming?” I didn’t give myself a tiny break just for a few minutes.
It was like I had a creepy overeager teacher inside my head going “oh, are you awake? Here’s what’s wrong with you and what you should do to fix it.” (Do you have one of those nagging teachers in your head too?)
So that’s when I knew I had a self-improvement problem.
Using my energy techniques, I found that:
- I didn’t even know how to talk to myself without criticizing myself.
- I had forgotten the joy of life and of work.
- I didn’t understand that I’m doing a great job at living my life.
- I didn’t feel like I was doing enough.
Pretty significant gaps for someone who’s been working on herself for decades, and has been healing others for twenty years! But maybe that’s exactly why. Maybe I was so used to working on myself and others that I only saw problems to fix.
You probably know that I’m very invested in evolving and empowering others to evolve. I’m not saying we should all stop doing that. I’m saying we’ll actually be able to do that much more effectively if we talk to ourselves (and others) with deep kindness, love and generosity.
I just saw a reel on social media of an adorable little boy smiling into the camera and chattering about something, and his mom kept interrupting offscreen, yelling more and more emphatically “Fix your smile! Fix your smile!” By the end of 30 seconds, the boy was near tears.
That mom was so obsessed with what was wrong (and his smile was beatific, so it made zero sense) – that she completely missed out on her son’s radiant beauty. Plus she utterly trampled his joy.
If you have a mean voice in your head saying “Fix your ____________!!” then you need to talk to yourself in a kinder way. You can’t hear yourself when you’re yelling like that.
Here’s the truth: you don’t need to fix yourself. You need to see yourself with the unconditional love and hope with which the Universe sees you. You’re amazing. Start there.
Of course you can become even more expansive than you are right now. You can go even deeper and higher and sparklier. But that’s not fixing. That’s just becoming the you-est you possible. You can feel the difference, right?
This way, none of us will have to jolt awake at 4 am thinking of ways to improve ourselves. Won’t that be nice?
Here’s are some energetic downloads for you if you’ve ever had any of those 4 am fixer-upper thoughts like I used to:
- See yourself as the Universe sees you
- Talk to yourself without criticizing yourself
- Remember your joy
- Truly understand that you’re in the midst of accomplishing your divine purpose and doing a great job living your life
- Learn and grow without feeling inadequate or critical
And hey, if you’re looking for a supportive, joyful online community where there’s tons of encouragement and at the same time tons of growth, I’ve got you.
Let’s find some time to chat about my group container Emerge, where together we’re emerging from self-doubt, anxiety, procrastination, and perfectionism, we’re embracing boundaries and abundance, we’re stepping into our powerful sovereign selves!
💬 “What helped me most was realizing I wasn’t alone—so many of us were struggling with the same things. In one session, we all discovered that deep down, we didn’t actually believe we deserved what we wanted. Working through that together was powerful. And the downloads in this program were my favorite. I feel like I have a more tangible means of changing my behaviors now.”
– Emerge Participant