So how do you get what you want in life? First you must know what you want. That may seem obvious, but most people only know what they DON’T want:
- You don’t want a family that’s unsupportive and verbally abusive.
- You don’t want a significant other who is unfaithful or emotionally unavailable.
- You don’t want a job where you’re bored, underpaid, or taken advantage of.
- You don’t want to feel like your life isn’t really meaningful.
Turning all that on its head shows you what you DO want. It’s an important differentiation, because if you just keep thinking about what you don’t want – which is what lots of my clients do – then you’ll feel mired down in it. You won’t see a way out, so you’ll stay in the depressing, paralyzing spiral of all the things you don’t want.
It is like being trapped in a maze with all dead ends, where you keep running into wall after wall… when the whole time, if you’d look up far enough, you’d realize you could jump over the walls and in five giant leaps be all the way out. I mean, there would still be mazes in life, but they wouldn’t be impossible. You would be able to navigate them. Here’s how to start:
Here’s how to start:
First, instead of feeling terrible about what you don’t want, focus on what you DO want:
- Family (or chosen friends that function as family) that’s supportive and nurturing
- A soulmate who is faithful and open and loving
- Work that’s meaningful and well-paid
- A sense of true purpose
You can connect to all you need, all you want, all you wish for – even if you’ve never really experienced it. Some of my clients have endured almost unimaginable trauma, but with persistence and energy tools, they have found love and fulfillment.
It is actually not quite correct to say you can connect to all you want – more accurately, you are ALREADY unalterably connected to all you want. (I know it may not seem that way. That’s that thing about feeling stuck in a maze.) You just need to recognize what you want and bring it closer to you. How?
I always say your beliefs help create your life. They’re sometimes completely subconscious beliefs, which means you may not realize you have them till you look at what keeps on happening to you, what actions you keep on taking even though you know you shouldn’t, or what actions you know you should take but you keep not taking.
Here are some of the most common beliefs I find in my clients. If you have them too, changing these beliefs will help you leap over the walls of the maze you feel stuck in.
Bogus belief: “I don’t deserve love.”
If your parents didn’t understand how to give you the love you needed, you may have reached this conclusion. It’s not true. But if you have this subconscious belief, you won’t be able to see the love that’s right in front of you. It is like it’s invisible to you. You must be SO sick and tired of never getting love.
True belief: “I deserve love – because everyone deserves love.” It’s that simple. You deserve love as much as any beautiful child you know, as much as anyone you see on Instagram, as much as any human or animal. You just do.
Bogus belief: “Love always hurts.”
If you grew up in a family where there was love but also a lot of verbal or physical abuse, love may be glued together in your mind with pain. This could be why you either avoid love relationships at all costs or keep ending up in negative or abusive relationships.
True belief: “Real love is supportive and nurturing.” If that makes you scoff or cry, you may have the bogus belief that love always hurts. You don’t need to keep living in the lonely world you feel trapped in. You can transform your beliefs, if you know how, and step into a whole new world, where you receive love and nurturing, and where your love is received too. If you don’t know how to transform beliefs, get in touch with me; I’ll help you!
Bogus belief: “I deserve to get taken advantage of” and/or “I have to save people.”
If you’re always the one who keeps your family from falling apart, who takes up the extra slack at work, who sacrifices your own wellbeing for the sake of your family or friends – aren’t you exhausted? And no matter what you do, it’s still never enough, right? If this sounds like you, then you may have the bogus beliefs just above.
True belief: “I deserve abundance” and/or “Everyone is directly connected to Source.” It’s hard to believe sometimes, but everyone – even your crazy mom and your irresponsible brother and your troubled best friend – everyone is directly connected to Source, the Universe, the Divine, whatever you like to call it. That’s why you don’t have to save them. In fact, it’s not going to work to save them. They’re annoyed by your trying to save them. You can encourage them and remind them of their connection if you want. That’s a lot different than saving them. And, you don’t have to keep sacrificing yourself. Because you don’t deserve to get taken advantage of. You deserve abundance.
Bogus belief: “It’s impossible to have any real effect in this world.”
Sometimes we look around and find a lot of “proof” that the world is an awful place and nothing we do makes any difference. There’s no faster way to hopelessness and even depression.
True belief: “I’m completely connected to Source, so I channel that and light up my corner of the world.”
You’re completely, unalterably connected to the Source of All That Is, the Universal Energy, God, whatever you like to call it. And when you see yourself and your true relationship to the Universe, you’ll realize that what you do matters. Who you are matters. There’s no way to blow this. You just do what you were put here to do, and your little corner of the world will slowly start to glow. And – this is important – there are millions and millions of others who are lighting up their little corner of the world. You may know lots of people who aren’t doing this. Look further and harder till you find people that are. Hang out with them, or follow them on social media, or read their books and blogs.
Does any of this sound familiar to you? Are you ready to transform your beliefs so you can get what you want in life, and then give the world what it needs?
Then drop me a line – we can set up a Zoom chat so you can find out how I can help you transform the bogus beliefs that keep messing with your life. Then you will be on your way to getting what you want in your life… plus you’ll be able to light up your corner of the world. Shine on! You can schedule a free "get unstuck" call here.