So… you wake up in the morning, set your intentions for the day, do your meditation, say your affirmations, go to work, try your best… yet soon enough, the thoughts start up. The critical voice inside your head. The scattered I should haves. The self-doubts. The frustration.
Then the attempts to distract yourself from those crappy thoughts – Instagram, TikTok, Facebook, YouTube, coffee, food, texting, whatever. Then the shame around that.
You’re thought spiraling. You’re free falling through a haze of emotional garbage, grabbing at your parachute strings. It’s not fun.
I’m a recovering perfectionist/procrastinator!
This can be the life of what I call a perfectionist/procrastinator. And I should know because I’m a recovering perfectionist/procrastinator! So are many of my clients. It’s such a common and annoying state.
Did you ever wonder how you got this way? Because if you ask that question with curiosity and compassion, rather than frustration and impatience, it’s the starting point of change. You didn’t get this way all on your own. You had lots of help.
See if you recognize yourself in one of these quick mini stories:
An astounding number of my clients have shared this basic story: they came home from school as a kid with an excellent grade on a hard test and showed their mom or dad: “Look! I got a 95 on my test!” And their parent said, “What happened to the other 5 points?”
They just learned that absolute perfection is required. They just learned that no matter how hard they try, it’s not good enough. And they’re still living their day-to-day life by these lessons 30 years later.
Another common scenario: they went with their family to church every week. Learned about the sacrifice and perfection of Jesus. They longed to be Christlike, as they had been taught this is the highest possible goal.
They too learned that perfection is required. They learned that no amount of sacrifice will make them good enough. And they’re still living their lives like this.
Or they grew up with a parent who had addiction issues, or mental health issues like untreated depression. So, they themselves needed to be the adult in the house. And they needed to hide the fact that their parent couldn’t parent; that was shameful. They learned that if they didn’t take care of every detail all the time, things would fall apart. They learned that they and their family were not okay; there was something wrong with them.
And they’re still living their lives by these lessons.
Do you see how you got this way?
The way you’re living your life may very well be according to lessons you learned as a child. Lessons you don’t even believe anymore. The way you’re living your life may be according to other people’s beliefs. These deep-seated beliefs are from the past, not the present.
But your inner voice – that voice of perfectionism, of criticalness – the voice that makes you want to put your head down on your desk and stop trying – was formed long ago.
And it Just. Keeps. Talking. In the same old way.
* Become aware of it
* Understand that your inner voice is just mimicking an outer voice from the past
* Identify who that voice was
* Compassionately change your inner voice… over and over again,
until you’re able to hear another inner voice, your inner sage, your compassionate, joyful, wise sage self.
Sounding like a lot?
If this sounds like a lot, frankly it does take a little time and effort. It’s best to navigate with someone who knows the way. I’m here for you if you want a guide who’s been there and gotten out.
To book a free Get Unstuck Zoom, click HERE. To just chat or text, try me at 917/426-5335.