Are you working like crazy in your career and getting sort of… nowhere? Or somewhere, but you’ve been stuck there for a while now? I bet you’ve thought of everything -- website, training, marketing, networking -- except your beliefs about your career.
Your beliefs help create the structure of your life. If you’re a person who likes to use healing and energy principles in your personal life but have never thought of doing the same in your work life, get ready!
Here are the top four belief systems I’ve found in my clients and students that hold them back professionally:
#1 WAY YOU MAY HOLD YOURSELF BACK IN YOUR CAREER:
Not understanding your real value: “My value depends on what others think of me.”
If you feel undervalued and overlooked no matter what you do, my heart is with you because that’s not fair. But please know that often your potential clients, your boss, your colleagues are only reflecting how much you value yourself and your work. If you don’t know your own deep and pure value, others can’t know it. You have to go first when it comes to seeing your value. Then and only then will others follow.
You can’t get your value from your bank account, the number of likes you get on social media, or what your family thinks about you or your work. Your belief in your own value comes from your heart. If you really don’t value yourself, if you feel underconfident about your work, those are just fears. Fears are false beliefs, and -- good news! -- you get to change your beliefs. And when you do, your work relationships will change.
The Universe thinks you’re amazing, or you wouldn’t be here. At the end of this blog are some emotional downloads to help you start to change this belief system about your real value. Or schedule a session with me to create huge lasting changes!
(If you deeply value yourself and your value and still get overlooked and undervalued, move on. You’re in the wrong workplace. Find your right place.)
#2 WAY YOU MAY HOLD YOURSELF BACK IN YOUR CAREER:
Impostor Syndrome: “If people knew who I really am, they wouldn’t respect me.”
None other than Lady Gaga said “I still sometimes feel like a loser kid in high school. I have to tell myself I’m a superstar every morning so I can get through the day.” Lady Gaga is insecure! Sheryl Sandberg, the hugely successful COO of Facebook (I mean Meta!), describes Impostor Syndrome perfectly. She has said that whenever she has a successful event or program she thinks “I fooled everyone yet again.”
Why do even very successful people hang on to this belief system that they aren’t good enough, that they’ve just fooled everyone so far? Because they’re using it to motivate themselves. Fear of failure is actually a pretty strong motivator -- but it’s an exhausting and negative one. Wouldn’t you love to motivate yourself with your soul’s purpose? Or at least with the ability to buy a beautiful home for your family or create a charitable foundation for the needy, once you reach your dreams? You can motivate yourself without fear! Again, lots of juicy downloads below, and you can have a full session if this is really resonating for you!
#3 WAY YOU MAY HOLD YOURSELF BACK IN YOUR CAREER:
Perfectionism & Its Spawn, Overwhelm “I’m supposed to be perfect all the time.”
Are you a perfectionist like me? Have you been criticized for this your whole life, like it’s a terrible thing? It’s okay to be a perfectionist: you pursue excellence and you almost always achieve it. You see what’s wrong in the world and have ideas how to change it. You do everything possible to serve your clients, whatever business you’re in.
It’s always best to accept ourselves rather than reject ourselves, so if you’re a perfectionist, fly that perfection flag! But of course you know the down side of perfectionism too: overwhelm, not-enoughness.
I’ve found with hundreds of perfectionistic clients that it all turns on this: your definition of perfection. Perfection isn’t never making a mistake. Seriously, read that again : )!
Whenever I ask the Universe for the actual definition of perfection, I see this image: a seed growing up through the dirt and blossoming. If you planted a seed, watered it, and after weeks saw a little green stem push up through the dirt, you wouldn’t say “This isn’t a rose! This is just a little green stem!” and pull it up and throw it in the garbage. You’d know that each stage of its development is perfect, and that it must go through each stage (even the one deep in the dirt) to fully bloom.
You’re the exact same way. You’re in the perfect state for you right now. And you’re always growing, always changing. Please give yourself the same chance, the same patience, the same nurturing you would a houseplant.
I promise that once you go by this definition of perfection, and give yourself acceptance, patience, and nurturing, you’ll blossom. You’ll stop feeling overwhelmed and start feeling interested in what’s next.
I’ve found that we perfectionists often have the definition of success wrong too. If you feel like you’re not successful, know this: success isn’t defined as being done accomplishing all your dreams.
The definition of success I get from the Universe is: rising up into the version of yourself you’re meant to be, and in this way creating an opening for others to do the same. This takes us from a sort of whiny “why can’t I be successful?!” to an inspiring “I’m rising into who I’m meant to be -- and you can too!” I love that!
Downloads for all this below!
#4 WAY YOU MAY HOLD YOURSELF BACK IN YOUR CAREER:
The Comparison Compulsion & Its Spawn, Frustration
As humans, it’s in our DNA to compare ourselves to others, and to notice the things in ourselves that are negative qualities -- this is called negativity bias and has helped keep us alive by making sure we notice predators and other problems. But it’s not so good for one’s confidence. I call it the comparison compulsion. Social media has multiplied this issue by about a million.
Constantly comparing your career to Gabby Bernstein’s or Glennon Doyle’s or your old college roommate’s can create frustration. First, know that you’re comparing your inside to someone else’s outside, as they say in 12-step programs.
Second, know that your worklife is a movie, not a photo -- look at all the frames. Don’t freeze frame on the worst possible moment. Look at what you can learn from a difficult experience, and keep going to the next scene. You’re the writer and star of the movie of your life!
Or you could look at it as a matter of perspective: you don’t want to constantly focus on your worklife in extreme close-up. You want to zoom out, way out. This is the perspective of a wise and successful person. (Pro tip: consistent meditation, even 10 minutes a day, helps a lot with this.)
You may be unconsciously using the comparison compulsion and frustration to motivate yourself -- the same as you may use fear of being an impostor. Again, motivate yourself with how you want to serve your clients and change the world, and with how you could improve and elevate your own life. (Pro tip: EFT tapping helps you accept your feelings and allows them to flow out of you rather than getting stuck inside you.)
If you focus on your own journey and take a long-range perspective, your frustration will dwindle away.
Downloads below! And remember, if you want a deep dive into any of this, I’m here for you! Pick a time here. I highly recommend some energy exercises to start each day and to use whenever you feel frustrated or overwhelmed. Get the free Transformation Toolkit here. Find more tools here on my Resources Page.
You’ve got this!
Here are your emotional downloads from the Universe, as promised. Just say yes if you’d like to know it’s safe, possible, what it feels like, how to, and that you deserve and are willing to…
- Understand your own value
- Believe in your own value even if others don’t seem to
- Trust the Universe to guide you
- Trust yourself
- Have success
- Feel confident
- Motivate yourself without fear
- Motivate yourself with your soul’s purpose
- Learn with ease and joy from all your experiences
- Live your day-to-day life without regret
- See yourself and your life from the Universe’s perspective
- Have the highest and best definitions of perfection and success
- Be successful and generous
- Be successful without being overwhelmed by your work
- Hear Source’s voice and guidance
- Live your day-to-day life without being a victim
- Find the humor in your situation no matter what
I specialize in detecting and changing belief systems and energy patterns in individuals and communities. Connect with me to see how I could support you and your family, workplace, school, place of worship, or group!