What to Do When You Don’t Know What to Do

November 7, 2023

Unless you’ve been asleep 24/7 for the past month, you’ve noticed: things are really rough.

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Unless you’ve been asleep 24/7 for the past month, you’ve noticed:

things are really rough.

I often say this to people:

               Everything rises to the surface to be healed.

How much more??

I’ve been saying that to help people understand why things seem so difficult since 2020, and it seems pretty wise and comforting at first – but, honestly, it’s getting old.  I mean, “HOW MUCH MORE IS THERE TO BE HEALED?” is an understandable question.

This works.

So, I’ve come up with something to do when you don’t know what to do. I’ve tried it myself, and it actually works. And it’s working for clients as well. I didn’t think of all of it. I read a lot and channeled a lot and meditated a lot. I’ll give credit where credit is due below. But here’s something that helps a lot when there’s just So. Much. Suffering – some of it your own.

Do these things.

First, do a little meditation. My ThetaHealing visualization video works perfectly for this.

Now, staying in that meditative frequency, you’re going to focus on the different parts of yourself, the different voices in your head that keep whispering (or shouting) the same things over and over.

To find these different parts, ask yourself “What am I most afraid of?”

And that part that’s full of fear will come forward. Say hi to it. Tell it you are very familiar with what it’s saying because you’ve been listening to it a lot. Tell it you appreciate that it’s trying to keep you safe but ask it to please sit down and be quiet for the next few minutes.

Then ask yourself “What am I most angry about?”

And that part that’s full of anger will come forward. Say hi to it. Tell it you know how it feels and why. Tell it you appreciate it’s trying to protect you but ask it to please just hang out and relax for a few minutes quietly.

Then ask yourself “What am I saddest about?”

And that part that’s full of sadness will come forward. Say hello to it. Tell it you see how sad it is and you’re sorry it’s so sad. Tell it you appreciate it for holding all that sadness for you but ask it to just breathe deeply and quietly wait for a bit.

Then ask yourself if there are any other parts that want to come forward. There may be panic, jealousy, hopelessness, exhaustion… whatever.

Say hello to each part, let each one know you see it and appreciate it, and ask it to sit down quietly and wait for a little while.

Okay. This is important.

You’re going to find your Sovereign Self now. You’re going to connect with that part of yourself that is higher, older, and wiser than all the other parts. Your Sovereign Self was you long before all the other parts formed in response to different triggers and traumas in your life. Your Sovereign Self was there before you were born.

Your Sovereign Self is right there, bigger and deeper and far more powerful than all your other parts. Go deeper into your meditation now, seeing a golden core of light coming up from the earth and through your body and up to the Universe. Your Sovereign Self is eternal, connected, wise, joyful, peaceful, and loving.

Focusing on your Sovereign Self may bring a little Mona Lisa smile to your face. You may take a few deep breaths without even meaning to. Your shoulders may drop down an inch and your legs may unclench.

Now this is vital.

Introduce your Sovereign Self to your other parts. Let each part know that it can relax, not because everything is great (it’s not) but because your Sovereign Self is in charge and can handle it.
Your parts will probably be surprised and relieved. They didn’t know you even had a Sovereign Self. They thought you were a child that needed to be protected.
They don’t need to disappear right now, but they do need to sit in the backseat of your life, with their seat belts on, in car seats like little kids.

Who’s Driving?

Because those parts of your self are not (or should not be) driving the car of your life. Your Sovereign Self is driving. They can relax. They can yell things from the back seat, “I’m scared! Life’s unfair! I’m so mad! I want to cry!”
And you can tell them – “I know.”  But they’re not driving.

Good News!

And good news: you can come back to your Sovereign Self at any time. A hundred times a day you may feel pulled away from your Sovereign Self, and you may start reacting to things from one of your other parts.

That’s okay. Because you can, a hundred times a day, notice this and say:

“Thanks, Fear Self. I’m stepping back into my Sovereign Self now. I’ve got this.” Or “Thanks, Sadness Self…” or whomever.

But those parts won’t step back until they trust your Sovereign Self. So, earn their trust by returning to your Sovereign Self over and over. It will become second nature soon.

Because it’s really first nature. You really are your Sovereign Self.

Thanks to –

Thanks to the amazing Dr. Richard Schwartz, the founder of Internal Family Systems and author of the great book, No Bad Parts, which I highly recommend.

Thanks to Vianna Stibal, founder of ThetaHealing®, which I also highly recommend.

Thanks to Andy Puddicombe, founder of Headspace, an app which I beg of you to get and do a little meditation every day with Andy’s soothing Australian accent guiding you.

Thanks, you amazing spiritual leaders.

This is spiritual ninja work!

And I don’t really expect you to be able to do it on your own.

If you’re feeling overwhelmed and you’d like to set up a free Get Unstuck Zoom to see if you feel like I can help you out, I welcome you to do that. To just chat or text, try me at 917/426-5335.